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One thing’s for certain. Susan Roces, wife of Fernando Poe, Jr., displayed one qualification of a First Lady: she can shed tears before TV cameras at the drop of a hat. Unfortunately, I can’t help believe that that’s just one ploy of the smoke and mirrors campaign launched by FPJ’s handlers.

So far there’s nothing real about FPJ except for his last name. The Fernando and Junior are fictitious. Even wife Susan carries a fictitious last name. Sure, these are screen names it can be argued, but they’re still fictitious.

Popular? Not a chance! Surveys continue to show FPJ a far fourth in ranking even with the question, “If elections were held today and these were the candidates running (including “Da King”), who would you elect?” Survey respondents represented all walks of life.

FPJ’s reasons for running may be true: “I’m sincere, dedicated and I love my country.” But a majority of Filipinos can themselves lay claim to these. To make these seem as belonging only to FPJ and reasons enough to make a good president is akin to a magician using smoke and mirrors. Or the Wachowski brothers employing special effects to make Keanu Reeves look invincible.

Indeed, when you have a candidate who has no qualifications and who has been pressured to run, a lot of special effects are needed. So it’s not only an actor who is being brought into politics, it’s a whole movie outfit led by producers Tito Sotto and Ed Angara. Even their claim that FPJ can unify the nation is unreal; it can’t even begin to belie their obvious thirst for power. They tasted it with Joseph Estrada. Then they lost it. Now they want it back with “Da King.”

The thing is, I doubt very much FPJ really knows what he’s getting into. It’s almost as if he was told, “Just announce your candidacy and we’ll go on from there.”

I can only wonder how, if FPJ gets elected, he’s going to fare in an APEC meeting where he’ll be all alone to face other world leaders. His handlers won’t be able to bring special effects there. He won’t be able to hide behind dark sunglasses either.

The presidency is not just about alleviating poverty as the masses are made to believe or focus on. It’s also about me. It’s about every Filipino rich and poor. It’s about the Philippines as Filipinos look at themselves and as the world looks at the Filipino. It’s about effective, inspiring, KNOWLEDGEABLE and gutsy leadership that can move every Filipino to do and be the best he can be.

The fact that Ronald Allen Poe aka FPJ can succumb to the likes of Sotto and Angara already tells me he can’t be that leader.

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It’s official. Action movie king Fernando Poe, Jr. has publicly announced his candidacy for President of the Republic of the Philippines.

Don’t count him out yet as an ineffective leader just because he’s a high school drop-out. Let’s take a look at his qualifications:

1. Aaaahhhh…
2. Hmmmmm…
3. Unghhhhhh…
4. Duuuhhhhh…

Okay, let’s not tak a look at his qualifications just yet. His image builders will come up with them soon.

Who are FPJ’s top supporters? Senators Tito Sotto and Ed Angara. The former’s a joke, the latter’s a has-been. Both were staunch supporters of that other actor, Joseph Estrada. Both are lusting after power. They don’t have presidentiable drawing power, so they’ll use someone who has and it doesn’t matter if he’s unqualified. In fact, the more unqualified, the easier to manipulate.

FPJ will go down in history as not only the Action King, but the Puppet King.

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Once again the issue of the effectiveness of the death penalty stares at the Filipino in the light of the recent murder of Betty Sy after a botched kinapping attempt.

No doubt the whole nation is enraged over this crime and not the very least the ethnic Chinese community whose members are the primary target of kidnapping gangs. So Filipinos are clutching at straws in efforts to stop the wave of snatching citizens for ransom.

One of these straws is reviving the death penalty, which has been placed on hold since President Estrada’s time in deference to a request by the Catholic church. But is reviving the death penalty the answer?

I doubt it. If kidnappers can get away with their crime –and sad to say most do– the death penalty becomes merely a hot issue TV networks can use to increase ratings. Worse, it becomes fodder for endless speeches by our do-nothing politicians, especially now that the unofficial election season is upon us.

The death penalty –and all our laws, for that matter– become effective only when those tasked with enforcing them are effective. Alas, this is where the real problem lies: our law enforcers like to talk, leak to media their moves and do everything to look good except be effective.

Take the new anti-kidnapping czar, Angelo Reyes, for example. What in heaven’s name is he doing in that role? Philippine Star’s Max Soliven says that Reyes, in every role he has taken, has been perfect … a perfect failure. Reyes is all tough talk and no balls.

What we need is an anti-crime czar who says nothing, strikes fear into the heart of criminals and is always two steps ahead of crime. He has to be effective and uncompromising. Yet, with the elections only a few months ahead, it’s unlikely we’ll get one.

The clamor of every Filipino should not be to bring the death penalty back, but to see drastic results in the work of our law enforcers to detect and stop crime even before it is committed … and NOW!

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Worst Philippine curse:

May you have GMA’s HONOR, FVR’s INTEGRITY, Ping’s GENDER, Pidal’s HONESTY, Bacani’s PURITY, FPJ’s WISDOM and Cory’s … DAUGHTER!

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Politicking. As usual.

She made public that she was allowing former President Joseph Estrada to seek medical treatment in the US. It is no secret she’s been trying to woo Estrada’s mass-based supporters. So it’s extremely difficult to believe her latest sound byte was motivated by compassion.

Yet, in signifying her permission to allow Estrada to leave, she’s implying two things:

1. She can control the Sandiganbayan, a supposedly independent branch of the judiciary solely authorized to grant travels to those with pending court cases.
2. She doesn’t care about justice but only winning the election.

At present, Mrs. Arroyo can’t even curb the rising cases of kidnapping. It’s either her top cops are incompetent or in cahoots with the criminals. Along with bank robberies, kidnapping is a lucrative fund raiser for electionists. Perhaps she shouldn’t look too far in weeding out the perpetrators.

Nor should she turn a blind eye to possible suspects in her own party, just as she turns a blind eye to justice by allowing Estrada to leave.

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That’s the description of how elements of a SWAT team neutralized former ATO chief Panfilo Villaruel and Navy Lt. (sg) Richard Gatchillar after they took over the Naia control tower by gunpoint.

Would it still have been overkill if, before the two were brought down, two commercial airliners collided in mid-air? And why in heaven’s name is the Senate investigating the incident? Don’t they have better things to do like enact laws?

Personally, if I had loved ones on an incoming airliner while the control tower was being commandeered, I wouldn’t want the SWAT team passing out chocolates and cigarettes in trying to find out the reason for the take-over.

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Rod Skunk … er … Strunk, supposed grieving widower of murdered cultural icon, Nida Blanca, is free. A US court struck down a formal request from the Philippines to extradite The Skunk to stand trial for Blanca’s murder.

As my former mentor likes to put it in situations like this: “Parehong baro, kasi! Translation: They have the same skin. Americans will always make it difficult for one of their own to be extradited to another country.

Before leaving the Philippines, Strunk claimed that he was merely leaving the country to attend to an ailing mother. He then boldly stated that he was returning to face investigations because he was innocent.

Yeah, right! He never returned. He instead sold his house so he could pay his lawyers to fight the extradition. You should have seen him when he was trying to look like a grieving husband before TV news cameras. He managed instead to look like someone with a bad case of diarrhea.

Is he guilty of murdering his wife? HE IS! Unless he returns to the Philippines to prove otherwise. As for the US judge who struck down the extradition petition, he smells just as bad as The Skunk.

OJ Simpson, move over! You’ve got company.

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Recently, President Gloria Arroyo publicly suggested complete reconciliation with and among her political foes. It would have sounded grand and magnanimous if it weren’t for two indisputable points.

One, it’s too near the elections for it to sound sincere. GMA has a propensity for shifting all too quickly to wherever the political winds blow. She projected a hands-off attitude when Congress, her party holding majority seats, impeached the much respected Chief Justice Hilario Davide. Then she made a high-profile visit to a Mass for him after much of the nation protested against the impeachment.

A sound-off on reconciliation from her comes out like a whimpering election pitch.

Two, reconciliation is puny without the strength of justice. It isn’t surprising that the Marcoses were all gung-ho about the reconciliation offer. A forgive-and-forget will let them keep the millions they stole without fear (actually for them more of a nuisance) of prosecution.

Incidentally, Imelda (of a Thousand Shoes) was all theatrically maudlin after being threatened with arrest on her return to the Philippines. The Justice Department had given her a month’s travel permit (she has pending criminal cases) to Europe for medical reasons, which she extended by two more weeks.

Before TV cameras and in between sobs that could put Kris Aquino to shame, she intoned, “How cruel can this government be!”

Egzkyuze me, Meldy! But weren’t you one-half of a conjugal dictatorship that was responsible for thousands tortured, maimed, missing and killed? Legally prosecuting you for an over-extension is eating cotton candy in Rizal park compared to your Martial Law persecutions.

If GMA wants to reconcile with the Marcoses, it has to be done after trying them in court, along with Danding Cojuangco, Ping Lacson and Joseph Estrada. For reconciliation with these scalawags without justice for the Filipino will be tantamount to treason.

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I caught a glimpse of TV network ABS-CBN’s televised anniversary concert last week. I tuned in just as they were honoring venerable comedian, Dolphy. And who did the honoring?

The very funny trio: Tito, Vic and Joey. They were brought together again for this particular occasion. They’re no longer a trio now because one of them, Tito Sotto, left to pursue a comic role in a much funnier medium: The Philippine Senate.

As senator, Sotto tried desperately to look like a hotshot lawyer in the impeachment trial of then President Joseph Estrada. Alas, he managed instead to look even funnier than his alter-ego in Tito, Vic and Joey.

Now, it’s Sotto who’s falling all over himself to get another actor, Fernando Poe, Jr., who didn’t even finish high school, to run for President. Asked by a journalist if this isn’t confusing the opposition on who their standard bearer should be, Sotto’s answer: “We’re not confused. We’re the ones determined.”

Of course this means that those in the opposition batting for a more qualified candidate are the ones confused.

Who needs Joey and Vic when Tito can be hilarious all on his own?

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Yup, it’s not only the weather in this tropical country that’s steaming nowadays. It seems new movie starlets ever so willing to disrobe before the cameras are being introduced to the public every week. For most of them, all they’re talented at is unbottoning, unzipping and unfolding, unabashedly.

They can’t act, they can’t sing, they can’t articulate. I wonder where talent scouts (if you can call them that) pick these girls up from. Perhaps from the same places we get our congressmen?

Pleeeaaase … bring back some real entertainment! Ping Lacson, where are you and your expos鳿

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